I Want Magic Eyes Too, Chuck!
I think I made an important scientific discovery tonight. Some people have MAGIC EYES! I’m not sure if it is an extra set of eyes that I just can’t see, or maybe the two “normal” ones on the front have super powers of sight, but somehow or another (without mirrors), some people can see behind them! This amazes me to no end. How do I know this? Surely there is no other explanation for the myriad cyclists who change lanes across traffic or pass other cyclists without so much as glancing over their shoulder. You’d think they wouldn’t want to be flattened by one of the 3,000 pound motor vehicles that is typically hurling by at 20-40 MPH, but clearly these mutants are undaunted. I guess there is one other possible explanation.... they are FUCKING IDIOTS. Naw, that can’t be it. Must be magic eyes. Actually, at this point, I’m thinking I must be the only poor fool who doesn’t have magic eyes. Whether I’m trying not to run over them in my bus, or they are cutting me off in the bike lane - every cyclist I see, day after day, seems perfectly content to veer into traffic without a care in the world as to what large, heavy machinery might be bearing down on them from behind with a shade-grown-latte-fueled, late-for-yoga, power-mom in the cockpit.
Surely this is proof of either magic eyes or creationism. If these people were really as stupid as they appear (and lacking magic eyes), they would have been selected out of the gene pool long ago. Thusly, I can only conclude that they are either superior to the rest of us, due to their magic eyes, or Darwinism is false. You make the call.
Comments
Nov 19
Zack
Why so angry?
Nov 19
Dave
Oh, I suppose I’m not as angry as I sound. Just amazed at how many people seem unwilling to take a VERY easy step to ensure their own survival. Their loss I guess. Why would you not look over your shoulder? Would you step into a cross walk without looking both ways? Would you run around in the dark without wondering if you were going to run into something? It’s exactly the same thing. I can’t figure out why people are presumably smart and willing to live in most other scenarios, seem perfectly content to die in this one. Amazing. Fascinating!
And I’m not some kind of safety nut, I will huck off cliffs all day long, and I delight in doing so. I pet dogs that I don’t know, and I eat food that has dropped to the floor - but for god’s sake, I look over my shoulder when changing lanes. It’s very easy and the possibility of getting smashed if you don’t is very real.
Nov 20
Gary
I have an eye glass mirror. When I look over my left shoulder I have a tendency to veer off line and move left into traffic.
I figure it’s a Darwin thing going on. Ever since we eliminated saber tooth tigers, there haven’t been any serious predators to thin the herd. Wolves tend to leave humans alone, and what else is left? Cougars? They seem to work over only dumb Mt. bikers.
Nov 20
the train
American drivers have a deeper respect for the rule of law than almost anywhere I have ever travelled. This a result of cultural conditioning to the concepts of “safety” and “Human Rights” (as in the sanctity of ones life). Each and every one has a million choices to make everyday about how far one will go to be “safe” and to avoid breaking traffic laws or engaging in “risky” behaviors that might end badly. Bad driving (in cars or on bikes) is usually the result of long ago entrenched behavioral patterns that, regardless of efficacy, have delivered the individual to the moment at present, intact. Couple that with every drivers lack of humility when it comes to their own shortcomings and deeply held convictions regarding other drivers errant interpretation of traffic law and what do you get? A bunch of control freaks who just can’t seem to comprehend what all those “other” idiots are up to! That and some folks who just don’t care either way.
Dave, don’t waste your time or breath worrying about what others are doing on the road, save vital energy for negotiating your survival in the face of their idiocy and flagrant lack of regard for life (yours or otherwise). Admittedly, you are in the trenches every day, all year round and for this I tip my helmet to you as a sign of respect. As someone who used to drive 30-40,000 miles per annum I can relate to the anger/fascination you possess. I also think you sounded a bit “cramped in the pampers” on the last and hope that this type of naggaliciousness will be absent from your future ruminations as they are some of my favorites, hands down. Maybe just give them the finger and pedal on next time brother, pedal on…
Awwwww shit, did I just censure someone? Who’s the control freak now?
Nov 23
dave
I’d happily give them the finger, but this is the point: THEY AREN’T LOOKING!
Other than that, I suppose I agree with your general vibe when you say this “...don’t waste your time or breath worrying about what others are doing on the road, save vital energy for negotiating your survival in the face of their idiocy...”
Well said.
Dec 31
Jack
You’ve never seen me. Maybe it’s because I’m older or maybe it’s the same old story. Us vs. Them, and “they” are never right.
Love those generalizations